Creating

You know how when you're pregnant, there's suddenly a whole lot more pregnant ladies out there?  Of course, you're just suddenly more aware because it's suddenly on the forefront of your mind. So, lately I've been doing some introspection. Maybe because of the new year... I don't like to admit that I conform to secular traditions like resolutions, but there is something wonderful about new beginnings.  Fresh page, clean slate, blank space...and I'll write your name (ok ok, I digress.)

Anyway, so my introspection showed me that I was kind of jealous of Husband because he is currently working on a project to build us a storage shed in the backyard.  And he is often spending his time on house projects that you can SEE and TOUCH when they're finished, and they last...  I realized I spend my time on things that are near-instantly destroyed or consumed: a tidy living room; clean, folded clothing; nutritious, 5-star-restaurant quality meals...

And then this happened. My clever, creative aunt posted this gem on FB, and my wise father (a professional artist) posted this response:

And then this happened. I was randomly looking at my Google calendar (that I never look at) and saw these tasks that I made for myself a long time ago (2012???):

At least we've gone to the museum & zoo.

Growing up with an artist father meant that my childhood and teenage years were filled with the availability of all kind of art supplies, and the encouragement to use them. We used to work on so many projects that are some of my favorite memories: making beads and miniature scenes out of Sculpey clay. Weaving scarves on a child-sized loom. Making super intricate magazine-cut-out collages to hang in my room. Decorating Pysanky eggs at Pascha.  And for some reason (oh, I don't know, working on a Chemical Engineering degree, caring for 2 small children round the clock, just some guesses) in my adulthood I've gotten out of the habit of creating things. And it felt like I was missing something. 

So I've made a few things lately.  They didn't get eaten, and they didn't get muddy tracks all over them. It feels wonderful! It feels right. There's a sense of accomplishment and pride and happiness and joy. The process is soothing and joyful and exciting, and the end product is (hopefully) useful. I even got to use math and optimization on one of the sewing projects. YES! Win, win, everywhere.

can I fit more pieces with the long side on the x or y axis?

God willing I'll continue this streak of creating, and I will actually have a hobby!

P.S. If we are FB friends, sorry/not sorry about posting pictures of all these new creations of mine.

What have YOU created lately?

Working on Wellness: Weekly Meal Planning

Here's why I meal plan:

1. I'm a weirdo and I love it;
2. I like being organized;
3. The more I get to think about food, the better;
4. I don't have to stress about what dinner will be during the afternoon of the day-of;
5. I avoid multiple trips during the week with the kiddos, which is a) hard work and b) costly, since I definitely don't just get the milk I was planning to buy but also end up getting Starbucks, treats for the kids, extra goodies, etc.;
6. Easier to track the budget for groceries (less trips = less marking on the budget sheet);

Here's what works for me:

I've shamelessly stolen Sara's original spreadsheet and have tailored it with my own recipes and grocery shopping pattern. I also added a "fasting/meat/fish" column to be able to filter according to the fasts of the Orthodox church. It helps me to adhere to the fasts! Up front, it takes a bit of time to think of your family's favorite recipes and separate the ingredients into the columns in the spreadsheet. But then, as time goes on, you will have a pretty good selection of recipes, and now usually I am just adding one or two recipes at a time as we try new things and like them.


Early on Monday morning:

Each weekday I wake up with husband (~5:30a) and spend time doing whatever I want sans kids. They typically wake up between 7:30 and 8 so I usually get a good amount of time to myself to have my coffee, listen to the daily Bible readings from Ancient Faith Radio, do dumb/enjoyable stuff like check Facebook and reading internet articles, catch up on housework, and sometimes work out using Nike Training Club app. On Mondays, I use that time to plan out the week. I print out a blank schedule for the week, populate it, then print and hang it on the fridge. I choose 5 recipes from the spreadsheet (filtering for fasting as needed), hide all the other recipes, then print that. It's the grocery list for the week! Then, once the kids get up, we pack up (making sure to bring the list!!) and head to the store to shop. I love grocery shopping on Monday morning because they are typically restocking so I know everything is fresh! And sometimes we get treats from Starbucks if I'm feeling generous.

Ongoing maintenance:

I periodically try new recipes from cookbooks I have, and I only have a few that I keep around that have awesome food photography; that's the only way I'm compelled to look through them! My favorites are Oh She Glows and a book from Williams-Sonoma called A Taste of the World. I also have my own recipe book for scrawling family recipes or frequently-used internet recipes so I don't always have to find the link. This pancake recipe is one the ones I had to write down!  I sub coconut oil for the butter. Srsly it's the bomb dot com. The touch of vanilla, the coconut oil, and little tidbit of sugar....nom nom.

I also love looking at food blogs (OSG, Smitten Kitchen, and Food Network everything are frequent stops when I'm clicking around the internet)

What are some of your favorite (fasting or not) recipes?  How do you stay organized in the kitchen? (Or do you not?)

xoxo Phae

Frugal fun: Dyeing My Wedding Dress

"After" - short and black/gray

After our intimate wedding in the Outer Banks, Mike and I threw a party for friends in Houston when I was seven months pregnant. The dress was a long white BCBG dress that was a few sizes bigger than normal.  (It has an empire waist to make room for a baby belly). Well, fast-forward about three years and I'm a few months postpartum and I find myself a few sizes bigger than normal again. I had a friend's wedding to attend a few weeks ago and I didn't want to spend money on a new dress that I will hopefully shrink out of in another month or two (or six). I figure, I might as well try dyeing the dress and hemming it to cocktail length.

I read a few blog posts about dyeing wedding dresses and gleaned some useful information: Basically, have no expectations and ignore the warnings on the dye box.

So, without further ado, some photos:

"Before" - long and white

A close-up of the before fabric. I think the flower overlay is chiffon with like velvety flowers and the lining is nylon.

Process photo - dress in black dye! So nerve-racking!

I am really happy with the result.  After I cut the dress off, and dyed it in a bucket, I let it dry completely.  The two layers of fabric (that were dry-clean-only) shrunk to different lengths, which I was kind of expecting.  Then, I took the dress to the tailor to get the hem finished. (I have horrible to modest sewing skills. I did not trust myself to hem such delicate fabrics.) Then, I wore it to the wedding and danced the night away with this adorable flower girl (who also happens to be my firstborn)...

Frugal Fun: Halloween Costume Ideas

Oh, hi.

I had a baby, transitioned to stay-at-home-mom (for a year....?), and have been working on adjusting to life with a toddler and an infant.

So, here we are back in the saddle of writing a blog.  I was inspired by my friend Sara (Feeding the Soil) in two ways for this post: 1) she has also gone through all of the above and more - she's opening Austin's first public Montessori school next fall, NBD... and 2) she just posted about Halloween costume ideas for her toddler and baby.  She is super-creative and crafty and makes her costumes from scratch each year. Ugh, talk about an admiration/jealousy combination.  So far I've managed to come up with original costumes for Zoe that did not require any affinity for crafting, or really more than an hour or two of thought for that matter.  I'm hoping to keep this up as long as possible, but this year is going to be a bit more of a challenge than previous years:

The first year, I dressed her up as Rosie the Riveter (TOUGH GIRL POWER!  My daughter is going to be an engineer/architect/tomboy, dangit, none of this princess girly-girl pink business.) This costume involved buying her a boy's plaid shirt, and borrowing a strip of red cloth. Sweet.

The second year, I dressed her up as a cat which is one of her favorite things, despite the fact that her most frequent experience with a cat is my sister-in-law's cat Emma, who runs and hides every time Zoe comes to their house.  This costume involved wearing a conglomerate of items she already had, adding the cat accessories, then drawing on her face with eyeliner.

Well, this year Zoe's favorite thing is Rapunzel, Cinderella, dancing and twirling (um, oops...how did that happen?).  Now, I am totally OK with watching the movies and playing dress-up and singing the songs.  But there is something about buying a pre-done cheaply-made polyester costume from the Disney store that I just can't get on board with.  I mean, Rapunzel didn't wear a dress with a plastic brooch encrusted with her own face.  So...what to do.  I'm not really crafty (ahem...even though my next post is going to be about dyeing my wedding dress...) so I'm thinking maybe I can just find a twirly dress at Thread or Goodwill and then make a paper tiara or something.  It may not be obviously Rapunzel but Zoe can just tell the people when she trick-or-treats and it will be super adorable.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!  Now I have another kid.  Shoot.  My visions of keeping Halloween prep to a minimum are being ever thwarted.

Maybe I can try to dress Max up like Rapunzel's chameleon sidekick, Pascal, or maybe her trusty Frying Pan.   Both of those would involve a single-color onesie and then using some construction paper or cardboard to complete the outfit.

Any other ideas?

Mama Challenges: I Can Do This

I have to write this post while I'm feeling the title... Currently, Zoe is at Boppa's house, Mike is napping, Max is on the boob, and I'm typing on my iPhone. AND the house is picked up. AND the dishes are done. AND there's a load of laundry in the wash. AND I even made a batch of

home made peanut butter balls for snacking. (Recipe later...)

Now if only I could shower, my day as a mom-o-2 (or 3 depending on how you count) could probably not get any better!

I need to write "I can do this" today, mostly to myself. I need to use today as an example. To be honest, the past 3 weeks have been pretty overwhelming for me. It's been harder than I thought to adjust to this new phase of life. It's hard for several reasons:

1. Lack of sleep- Max wakes up to eat at least every 3 hours, and eats for relatively long for a newborn. Add in burping, diaper changing, and getting him back to sleep- that's about one out of every 3 hours of sleep missed. Plus, trying to make sure to do all of that silently to give Mike the opportunity to sleep as well as possible. (Max sleeps in the room with us.)

2. Lack of exercise- Boy oh boy I am missing my old friends, endorphins!

3. Boredom/guilt- you're supposed to keep a newborn out of public places as

much as possible since their immune system is so new. But I can't just sit around all day, plus Mike has his 4 weeks of paternity leave (yay European company!) and we want to do some things as a family that are entertaining for Zoe. So we've done a few things like go to the zoo and B&N. It's so exciting to get out of the house...then as soon as we're out, I'm stressing because what if Max gets a disease?! It's been hard to balance his needs and mine.

4. Hormones/post-partum depression?

As I type the list out, again I feel a surge of "I can do this." All of these items are identifiable, and are getting better by the day. I got cleared by the doctor today to start easing back into exercise (yay!!) with the caveat to "listen to my body." Max is getting stronger every day. The stress of the new life is starting to make way for the stress of the new normal. Mike, Yaya and Boppa are all here to support me, Max, and Zoe. I don't have to do everything by myself.

I (we) can do this!

xoxo Phae

Feaga, Family of Four (or) Max's Birth Story

Max, minutes old

Max is here!  It's a boy!  Praise God for our son's healthy birth.

Here's the story of how Max came into the world 3 weeks early and why I haven't posted anything for a while.  (It's kinda hard to type one-handed, with a newborn in the other arm.)

Wednesday, May 29, 9am: Go to the hospital to get the version procedure done, since Max was breech and we wanted to have a natural delivery. My OB, Dr. Davis, and her practice partner, Dr. Patolia, do the procedure.  It's straightforward and unsophisticated: get a muscle relaxer so my uterus doesn't contract, and the doctors push on the baby from the outside of my stomach to try to flip the baby to head-down position. (Yes, it's quite uncomfortable.) Success! Baby is head-down!  Now, hope the baby stays head-down until delivery.  Otherwise you are going to have a c-section.  The version basically has a 50/50 chance of working, so I'm cautiously optimistic, but am already started to mentally prepare for a c-section, just in case.

Thursday May 30- Friday May 31: Contractions consistently every 7-10 minutes for these two days. No big deal, but by Friday afternoon they're starting to be more painful, so I thought it would be smart to go in to the hospital to get monitored and checked to make sure everything was ok. After work on Friday: have some leisurely dinner, take Zoe to Menchie's for some frozen yogurt (...or a cup of candy toppings with no frozen yogurt...so embarrassing as a mom who cares a lot about nutrition!), and call the doctor to tell them what's going on.  Dr. Patolia is on call for the weekend - she's more agressive than Dr. Davis.

Friday, 8 pm: Arrive at hospital, get hooked up to the monitor to confirm contractions. Check dilation - about 4 cm. Dr. Patolia wants to hook me up to pitocin right away and start inducing labor.  Mike and I aren't convinced this is necessary, so we tried to bounce on the birth ball and walk around the hospital hallways to try and get labor to come on more naturally.  

Saturday June 1, 2 am: Still only 4 cm dilated, so agree to a small dose of pitocin (smaller than what Dr. Patolia ordered.) I had an epidural-free birth with Zoe and I wanted the same experience for this baby.  I was afraid that too high a dose of pitocin would make the contractions too un-naturally painful, which would lead me to want an epidural.  The nurse obliged and left the dosage low, but the contractions didn't come on much stronger or closer together.

Saturday, 4 am: I begin to think maybe we should just go home and wait until labor came on more naturally. If a dose of pitocin isn't making anything happen, maybe the baby isn't ready to come out yet.  However - we're already at the hospital with an IV hooked up, I've gone though 2 bags of penicillin (to protect the baby from strep B virus, which I had with my first pregnancy), and I am 4 cm dilated. Plus, we don't want the baby to flip back around again.  I'm already starting to be hungry and sleep deprived, so I discuss with Mike, and call my mom (she's a labor and delivery nurse) several times to get their opinions.  Ask mom to come to hospital to help. Discuss with nurse and resident doctor.  All parties say they could go either way and its up to me. I feel frustrated and kind of just want someone to tell me what to do.

Saturday, 5-7 am: Change mind 100 times back and forth about staying.

Saturday, 7 am: Finally decide to stay and have the baby. Irreversibly go into much more active labor by having the doctor break my water.  Dread labor because I've already stayed up all night with no sleep or food, and I'm already super-tired.

Saturday, 7 am-11 am:  My husband and mom help and coach me through the hardest part of labor.  I feel exhausted, and actually doze off between contractions.  Mentally and physically I feel a lot less motivated than I did with Zoe's birth.  I'm unsure why I want an epidural-free labor.

Saturday, 11 am:  I think I want the epidural.  Mike and Mom advise me to see how far I've progressed, next time the nurse checks - if I'm 7+ cm, let's power through.  If I still haven't made much progress, we can get the epidural.  Ok, I agree.

Saturday, 11:15 am:  I'm 7+ cm dilated.  We're powering through!  Woo hoo?

Saturday, 12:22 pm: (Sparing the audience all of the details of pushing) Maxwell Keith Feaga arrives! 6 lb, 10 oz and 20.5" long.  I see his wiener and am so relieved it's a boy and I am not going to have to do this again!  (Reserving the right to change my mind!!) We have one boy and one girl, what we believe will be the right family unit for us.  Despite being "late-preterm" (36 weeks 5 days, whereas 37 weeks is considered full term) Max is wonderfully healthy, nurses like a champ, and has no problems - thank God!  He's my 2nd most favorite man in the whole wide living world. 

The little man all snazzed up to go home from the hospital

2 weeks old

Now, two and a half weeks later - we're still getting then hang of our new life.  I'm sure I'll write more posts about life with a newborn...

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement throughout the pregnancy, delivery, and recovery!

xoxo Phae (+ Mike + Z + M)

Mama Daughter Dates



"I yuv Menchie's" (this wasn't actually a Menchie's but a similar chain)



One of the most delightful things is taking Zoe on mama/daughter dates. Now, of course we have a lot of 1:1 time, but most often it's doing chores, errands, or everyday life activities like making dinner and getting ready for bed.

Not that those things aren't fun! They are! We usually end up laughing and making a mess. But mama always has an undertone of stress during this "everyday" time together since we are usually trying to keep to some sort of schedule, and/or I'm trying to prevent the entire container of salt/cereal/juice from being poured into a toddler cup of milk and onto/into all adjacent surfaces/crevices/drawers.

That's why mommy/daughter dates are so awesome! We get to go do fun things on our own schedule. No agenda or timeline.  Mama is relaxed, so Zoe is relaxed.  We aren't in the house, so we can make a mess without me stressing about cleaning it up right away.  We get to enjoy new and old things together.  We may even have learning opportunities (one of our spots is Barnes & Noble) to share together!


Playing with the trains at B&N

Zoe's Whole Foods lunch that she picked "all by self"

I think it's super important to HAVE FUN with your child as they grow up.  I can feel the tendency in myself (and I can observe it in others) to just "be the boss" and command your child to do what you say.  But I do my best to fight these tendencies (unless it has to do with safety!!) in everyday life, and to give myself a chance to be Zoe's friend by going on these "dates" with her.  As they say, "the days are long but the years are short," - so I suggest you take a few hours every once in a while to move at your child's pace, loving them, appreciating them, and observing who they are at a given age.  "It won't be like this for long," says Darius Rucker...

What's your favorite "mommy kiddo date"?

xoxo Phae