Letter to a Role Model: Mike Feaga the 33 Year Old (or) Happy Birthday,Husband! (or) 10 Reasons Why I Love You

Tomorrow is Mike's 33th birthday! My love, my soul mate, my ginger. To celebrate, I will honor him on social media, the only true way to express love to your spouse.

Dear Michael,

Happy birthday! I am so grateful for you in my life. You constantly challenge me to be a better, cooler, more productive and giving human being. This challenge stems mainly from trying to keep up with how great, cool, productive, and giving YOU are. Since you love lists so much (This shirt is NOOOT black) here are ten reasons, in no order of importance, why you should have a happy birthday.

1. You're an amazing daddy. Yesterday when I was fixing dinner and was telling the kids to "stop bickering and just be nice to each other" (super effective.) you swooped in and took them outside to plant seeds and distract them from fighting. You always know how to switch gears when the tension is high and I can't get myself in the right state of mind.

2. Sexiest. Redhead. Alive.

3. You somehow manage to avoid the grips of social media with your iron will and headstrong opposition to it, and encourage me to do the same. Maybe someday you'll succeed.

4. You are the cutest farmer in all the land. This is just the latest example of your desire for lifelong learning, and it is such a pleasure to watch you work the soil and discover new things with child-like wonder and amazement.

5. You always read non-fiction. Somehow 10 hours a day at an engineering job isn't enough exercise for your smart, smart brain. Because "I like to break a mental sweat, too." This past year you read ONE fiction book. My challenge to you in your 33rd year is to read TWO fiction books. Can you do it??

6. You know how to make me feel beautiful even when I am a huge pregnant whale. MAJOR HUSBAND WIN!

7. You have single-handedly taught me how to budget, how to love a budget, and even how to make budgeting fun.

8. Our joint desire for "the simple life" -  your awareness and help in protecting our precious time from too many activities, social commitments, and too much travel.

9. You are able to set the tone for our whole household with your strong, quiet, hardworking nature. Weekends spent working in the garage and in the garden are relaxing yet productive, challenging yet fun, simple yet complex. You show us (your whole family) by your example what it is to truly live this life humbly and beautifully.

10. I love dreaming with you. The current dream of owning a winery/brewery is such an exciting and cool prospect! I love how you are dreamy but practical at the same time. You're simply the best.

Happiest Jesus birthday to the love of my life. God grant you many more years!

xoxo Philo

Announcement

Baby 3 is coming in December ❤️🎉💙🎀💙🎀

When Max was in my belly, Zoe was barely 2 years old. Whe we announced to her that she was going to be a big sister, I really don't even remember what happened. I think she understood but didn't have an opinion one way or the other. Now, the kids are 5 and 3 and they understand what's going on. I want to record the events of the announcements to the kids because I don't want to forget! They were both beyond sweet and I don't think my heart has ever been fuller than that day. (Yet.) 

Max hears the beat

Mike and Max came with me to the 9 week ultrasound. Max had fun playing in the waiting room and was just oblivious as the tech got everything up on the screen. Once we saw the heartbeat, Mike said, "well, now is as good a time as any to tell Max." For some reason I had envisioned us telling the kids at the same time, but I said "ok". Our tech said, "wait- don't say anything yet - let him figure it out" and held up her index finger to pause our conversation. She then put the sound up so the little thump-thump could be heard. It took a few seconds but Max looked up from his employment and said "what's that?!?!" And we were able to tell him there is a new baby in Mommy's belly and he is going to be a big brother. His face beamed with excitement and joy. 

Later, I asked if he thought the baby was a boy or a girl and he said Boy. I also asked what he thought we should name the baby and he said "Boppa". 

Zoe gets the news

Later that afternoon I picked Zoe up from preschool. As we walked to the car and drove home, we proceeded to have the conversation:

Me: "Zoe baby, I have some exciting news!"

Zoe: "What is it?"

M: "You are going to be a big sister again- I have a new baby in my belly!"

Z (face lights up with a smile) "gasp!"

..

Z "but your tummy's not fat."

M "yes, the baby is still very tiny. It takes a loooong time to grow. My belly will grow slowly. The baby will be growing until almost Christmas."

Z "oh! Can I hold the baby?" 

M "of course."

Z "I'm going to teach the baby how to ride horses."

M "....ok. You don't know how to ride a horse but ok."

Z "it's a girl and we should name her Rosetta."

Later that evening the kids tried to see the baby through my belly button. Unsuccessful with their bare eyes, they grabbed a magnifying glass and tried their luck at that:

Best Husband in the World

Several weeks in, I was expressing some anxiety to Mike about how I felt so different this pregnancy and how I thought that meant there was something wrong with the baby. Mike always tends to say just the perfect thing when I'm feeling scared. Example:

Me: "This pregnancy is so different from the others I can't help but think the baby has Downs or something."

Mike: "well, if the baby has Downs, then we'll raise a child with Downs."

I love my husband. I love my family. I love life. 👩🏼👨🏽👧🏼👦🏼👶🏼

The Mommy Comeback to 26.2

Team Purple!

Sunday, February 14th, 2016, on my eldest child's 5th birthday, I ran my 8th full marathon! 26.2 miles! In Austin, my new city! It was my slowest marathon ever! But do you know what one's slowest marathon is? It's a personal record for the most continuous minutes of running EVER! Woo hoo!

The Good
I ran with my sister. We dressed as twinsies with purple shirts and black spandex. It was a blast. People on the sidelines love twinsie runners and they were calling us "Team Purple" and it made running by the spectators super fun.

Mile 18 shenanigans with the kiddos

Not having a time expectation (like my previous 6 marathons) took so much pressure off that I just smiled and waved and looked at the signs. The miles just kept coming by.

The weather was great - cloudy, not too hot, not too cold, no rain. Apparently some people thought it was humid but I felt great.

We drank just the right amount of water and Gatorade, took our energy gummies at just the right times, and I felt like I had just the right amount of energy throughout the race.

I ran the Austin marathon in 2009 and I remembered what the hilliness of the course was like. Everyone talks about this marathon in a scary way for this reason. For a native western-PA girl they really aren't bad. They are either kinda long but really not-steep, or short and kinda steep.

Seeing the kids and the husband and our parents at mile 18 was so much fun. It gave me such a burst of happiness to see them! I highly recommend running a lot of marathons, then not running marathons while having two kids over 6 years, then making a marvelous comeback to the distance and making sure said kids are there to cheer for you and feed you your gummies and offer you a sip of their birthday hot chocolate. It's very invigorating.

The Bad
I kind of pulled my hamstring/IT band in my last short/long run one week before the race, because I'm dumb and I was feeling good and wanted to try and run my 10 miles fast. So I did and I aggravated the ongoing injury. and so it hurt pretty bad during the race. However, since I wasn't pushing for a PR, I was able to take it easy. Also I took some ibuprofen around mile 20 that helped.

My 7th marathon was almost 6 years ago. That means it almost felt like my first marathon all over again, so I was suuuuper anxious leading up to the race. Anxious that I would fail, anxious that I would run super slow, or whatever.

My lowest mental point in the race was when we passed the 30K mark at around 3:38. That is my marathon PR (January '09) and seeing that we still had 12K left to go just made me feel really slow and like I will never get back to my pre-kids speed (Only time will tell, eh?), and what's the point in doing something if you're not getting better at it? (P.S. I mention this because it was my lowest point, but for most of the race I just felt really proud of myself for getting back out there after kids, and accepting the season I'm in and respecting the journey)

The Ugly
There was no ugly because I did my hair in a cute braid ponytail combo and it actually looked pretty good throughout the race. :)

Marathon hair

...I did sort of ugly-cry in an emotional way after we crossed the finish line. Marathon #8, and marathon #1 post-kids, is in the books, folks.

xoxo Phae

Austin Marathon 2016 Finishers!

No-label Nutrition

No-label Nutrition

or

Why I Will Never Declare Myself A Vegan

"All things in moderation" -Proverb

Labels: Vegan. Gluten-free. Dairy-free. Paleo. Bacon. Low-carb. No-carb. No-sugar.

photo cred: Dina Marie

I have no formal training in nutrition (except the time when I paid $500 for a mail-correspondence Nutritional Certification course and did all the work and studying but never mailed in the test due to fear of failure). I almost constantly think about food, how it tastes, and how my body will process it for better or for worse. I love to read books and articles about the biology of how our bodies process food and the benefits of different nutrients in the body.  Please do what feels right for you, follow your doctor's guidelines about any food allergies you have, do some research about where your food comes from.

Now that that's done,

Here's what I do for eating. I'm not vegan, but I eat about 80-90% plant-based (vegan). Eating many many plants - colorful fruits & vegetables, whole grains like Bulgar wheat and rice, seeds, beans, and nuts - makes me feel super amazing. Chronic problems like eczema and afternoon lulls in energy go away (and return when I have a more animal-centric few days). Also, dairy-related gastrointestinal discomfort (aka farts) is kept at a minimum.

I know that colorful foods are the most nutrient-dense and have been proven to be anti-inflammatory, anti-cancer, and pro-health. I also enjoy cooking them (or just chopping them up) and eating them because they are delicious and did I mention plants make me feel super amazing?

Typical Lunch

You know what else makes me feel super amazing? Bacon. Not so much in my stomach or GI tract but in my happiness/heart-of-hearts/soul. Also, decadent desserts makes me feel super amazing. With refined sugar and butter and refined flour topped with whipped buttercream frosting. It kind of makes my tummy hurt. But I luuuhve it so I have it on occasion, enjoy the moment without guilt, and move on.

Most of the time, I don't eat animal products, and I do my best to limit refined sugar and flour. But I will never say never when it comes to these things. Food is of course, fuel for our bodies but it is ALSO fuel for our souls. Kinda cheesy (literally?) but it really is. I think it's important to do what makes us feel good in all components of our self.

So I eat lots of plants I love. I fill in the gaps with other foods I love, from every category.

Eat well, be happy, and don't stress about labels too much. (I mean labels like vegan. If you want to read labels on food packages in the grocery store to make sure things don't have high fructose corn syrup listed as the first ingredient, please do.)

xoxo Phae

Parenting Post: Kind Words

I've been doing a parenting experiment lately.

Well, isn't all of parenting one big experiment, with the number of data points equal to the number of children you have, and all of the input variables constantly changing, and certainly not double-blind, and therefore you never really know whether or not your results are credible?

Anyway. This particular experiment is one where I have been choosing to go out of my way to build up the children's confidence and sense of self-worth. I use words as often as I can to tell them amazing, wonderful things about their person. I praise their positive behaviors, I tell them how beautiful and adorable they are, but most of all I just try to tell them I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

This experiment is difficult for me for a few reasons:
1. When teaching small humans about life, a lot of times you have to tell them what NOT to do (i.e. using negative language. I know there are tactics for "redirecting" like if kids are running, instead of saying "Don't run" you can say "Please walk", but that doesn't work in some situations.)
2. Although Words Of Affirmation is my love language for receiving love, I actually find it challenging to express love this way. There is some kind of a thick barrier between my brain and my mouth so I just think "I am so proud of Zoe for sticking with that project until the end, that showed such mature perseverance", and then stop there. My natural tendency isn't to push past the barrier and actually say it. So in order to execute my experiment, I have to get out of my comfort zone, register that these thoughts are occurring, and take the time to say them to my children.

So, I've been working on it. By no means am I perfect at it, and some days are better than others. Some days you just have to be negative all day long: "Can I have candy?" "no." "Can I have candy now?" "no." "But I really want candy" "NO."

But:

I can see the way her eyes light up and her sweet mouth curls into a smile when I squat down, look into her eyes and say in an almost-whisper "Z, can I tell you something? I love you so much. You are my favorite little girl on the whole planet. You are wonderful and kind and I love you so much."

I can see her feeling smart when I say "Z! Look at you learning how to spell! I'm so proud of how hard you are working on sounding out words!"

I can see her feeling good when I say "Guys! I love how you are playing together so nicely and taking turns with the markers."

I can see her pride when I say "I can't wait to wear this necklace/bracelet thingy that you made!"

I can see her confidence growing when I say "Thank you so much for getting ready by yourself! You did the buttons, you got your shoes on, you washed your hands and brushed your teeth! Think about all those things you did on your own when I had to do them for you just a little bit ago! You are such a capable young lady."

The older the kiddos get, the more they will be venturing outside of our home. I can't shelter them from the difficulties and challenges of the world.  But I can do my best to equip them with a positive sense of self and a safe, loving, comforting home to return to. And I'll work hard to tell them that.

xoxo Phae

A Little Obsessed.

This sewing hobby of mine is getting out of control. Not that I'm going to do anything to cut back, but I have just been in the zone so much that other things are falling down on the priority list. Things like "paying attention to my children" and "home cleanliness"... those aren't THAT important, right?

I love browsing blog tutorials, and I just keep adding to my list of sewing projects. Here's what I have so far. And hopefully when I type it out it will make me STOP LOOKING AT MORE TUTORIALS OF SUPER CUTE THINGS TO MAKE.

1. Finish my 2nd shift dress, which I'm making out of a super-themey harvest-colored flower print. I'm making it out of a thicker stretch knit and added longer sleeves so I can wear it for Thanksgiving. I need to move the pockets (I measured where to place them but somehow they ended up weirdly low so I need to move them up, grr), finish the neckline and hem it. It's so interesting working with the same pattern/tutorial but with different fabrics. It feels so different than the same dress I made with the batik woven. Bonus: The knit version is stretchy enough not to need a zipper! Have I mentioned that I love learning a new skill??

 

2. Matching PJ pants for the boys. Daddy was so jealous of Max's that he wants a pair. He picked some gray flannel with a fishing design.

Check out the tight spiral on my imaginary football, yo

 








3. A slouchy bag for my aunt - I'm going to use this tutorial. I haven't picked out all the fabrics yet but I DID pick out this super awesome button with a coffee mug on it (shh, don't tell!)
4. Infinity scarves for Christmas gifts following this tutorial from my current blog crush Merrick. She is tots amazing. And so is her and Leanne's online sewing course that everyone should do. I made a scarf already with some knit and it was very easy:

Plus its easy to add my "xoxo Phae" tags to them which are so awesome

5. A baby dress for a close friend - I've already bought the most adorable corduroy!
6. A baby blanket for another close friend - haven't chosen the fabric here. They are a unique couple and so I want to find some unique fabric to match their personality!
7. I would love to make a copycat of my Pascha dress, but in a thicker black fabric with some texture. Ideally I want to wear it for Christmas Liturgy but if I'm being realistic, that is not going to happen with the aformentioned other projects!!!!

Christ is Risen!

SELF: stop looking at tutorials. Just stop.

(But you know you're not going to.)

xoxo Phae

Creating

You know how when you're pregnant, there's suddenly a whole lot more pregnant ladies out there?  Of course, you're just suddenly more aware because it's suddenly on the forefront of your mind. So, lately I've been doing some introspection. Maybe because of the new year... I don't like to admit that I conform to secular traditions like resolutions, but there is something wonderful about new beginnings.  Fresh page, clean slate, blank space...and I'll write your name (ok ok, I digress.)

Anyway, so my introspection showed me that I was kind of jealous of Husband because he is currently working on a project to build us a storage shed in the backyard.  And he is often spending his time on house projects that you can SEE and TOUCH when they're finished, and they last...  I realized I spend my time on things that are near-instantly destroyed or consumed: a tidy living room; clean, folded clothing; nutritious, 5-star-restaurant quality meals...

And then this happened. My clever, creative aunt posted this gem on FB, and my wise father (a professional artist) posted this response:

And then this happened. I was randomly looking at my Google calendar (that I never look at) and saw these tasks that I made for myself a long time ago (2012???):

At least we've gone to the museum & zoo.

Growing up with an artist father meant that my childhood and teenage years were filled with the availability of all kind of art supplies, and the encouragement to use them. We used to work on so many projects that are some of my favorite memories: making beads and miniature scenes out of Sculpey clay. Weaving scarves on a child-sized loom. Making super intricate magazine-cut-out collages to hang in my room. Decorating Pysanky eggs at Pascha.  And for some reason (oh, I don't know, working on a Chemical Engineering degree, caring for 2 small children round the clock, just some guesses) in my adulthood I've gotten out of the habit of creating things. And it felt like I was missing something. 

So I've made a few things lately.  They didn't get eaten, and they didn't get muddy tracks all over them. It feels wonderful! It feels right. There's a sense of accomplishment and pride and happiness and joy. The process is soothing and joyful and exciting, and the end product is (hopefully) useful. I even got to use math and optimization on one of the sewing projects. YES! Win, win, everywhere.

can I fit more pieces with the long side on the x or y axis?

God willing I'll continue this streak of creating, and I will actually have a hobby!

P.S. If we are FB friends, sorry/not sorry about posting pictures of all these new creations of mine.

What have YOU created lately?